If you have always been the spouse in your relationship to keep the peace and try to patch things up, divorce can be tough. This can be extremely stressful if your spouse is fighting dirty. Here are four things that you need to do to protect yourself if your spouse is not cooperating in divorce proceedings.
1. Stop Trying to Make Everyone Happy
Gone are the days of trying to keep your spouse happy or trying to reach a resolution. If your spouse won't communicate with you or things always end in a fight, stop trying to patch things up. In the long run there may be a truce, but for now you need to focus on your own needs, not your spouse's feelings.
2. Surround Yourself with a Support Group
If your main support before your divorce was your spouse, you need to surround yourself with friends or loved ones that can be a sounding board during this time. You will need your strength to fight for yourself, and this isn't going to come from your spouse. Reaching out to support groups or going to counseling can help sort your thoughts as well.
3. Skip Mediation
Mediation is a tool that works well if those divorcing will be able to reach an agreement on divorce terms outside of court. If you know that there are non-negotiables on the table with child custody, child support, or alimony that will pose disagreements, a settlement might not be able to be reached. If you aren't going to come to a resolution easily with your ex-spouse, then mediation might be a waste of time.
4. Find a Professional Divorce Lawyer
If you think that your divorce might get messy, you need an experienced divorce lawyer on your side. At this point, divorcing without external help and someone in your corner isn't an option. If you think that your spouse might be hiding assets or will not cooperate with the process, you will need a professional to help. Divorce lawyers can make demands and look into your spouse's records for supporting evidence in your favor. If your ex-spouse isn't playing fair, then you need someone that understands all of the nuances of divorce law that can fight for you.
It can be hard to come to grips that someone that you used to love could turn and make your life so miserable. It is time to stop grieving about the past and think about your future. Do what you can to stay strong during your divorce and make sure that you are protecting your future.